Pete Lit

Today, for one day only, Joliet is the preteen hotspot of the entire world

Jonas Brothers likely to snarl traffic

As of 7 o'clock this morning - six hours before the gates open - there were already a hundred youngsters congregating in front of Silver Cross Field, traffic was being diverted and police patrols were prominent. There are very few days that I'm glad to work an hour away from home, and this is one of those days.

J. Elsinger & Co.

Interesting piece of Joliet ephemera here, from the bygone era when retailers still printed up advertising cards - though, admittedly, this is a stock image to which the store's name was imprinted. But I'm a bit perplexed by the store's street address. First, that it lacks the east/west designation that's standard today, but more importantly that during that era neither 34 West Jefferson (the Will County Courthouse) or 34 East Jefferson (the Woodruff Hotel) would have been a likely storefront location - unless Elsinger was located inside the Woodruff. Or it could be instead that, sometime after this card was printed, the city changed its street address system. Back then there were plenty of storefronts along the entire north side of Jefferson (on the opposite side from the Courthouse and the Woodruff) that could have housed this store. A mild mystery.

Sunnyside Beverage

Now, here's a real rarity on eBay - a TOG soda bottle label, circa 1950s, from Sunnyside Beverage in Joliet. A Google search for "Sunnyside Beverage" and "Joliet" returns just one result, from some bottle collector's wish list. I'll have to check the old Joliet city directories next time I'm at the library and see if there's any information there on this company. How pleasantly simple that ingredients list is: just water, sugar, lemon and lime flavors, and vitamins B and D. No sodium benzoate, no high fructose corn syrup, just natural ingredients. And vitamin-fortified too!

Chicken-N-Spice

Nice piece here on Joliet local favorite Chicken-N-Spice.

It was hard not to panic back in the 1980s when many businesses were pulling out of downtown, Pat Reimer said.

"To look across the street and see everything boarded up was just scary," she said.

In 1979, Reimer and her husband, Ken, had taken a chance on opening a restaurant, Chicken-N-Spice, in a building at 251 N. Chicago St. that had originally housed a Jack in the Box and then a Popeyes. Then they watched as most of the retail stores and car dealerships left downtown.

"All of these things provided customers," she said of the fleeing businesses. "You can't help but have that sense of fear."

Great food, obviously good people. Downtown Joliet could use a lot more committed entrepreneurs like the Reimers. They have kept it simple (Chicken-N-Spice is totally a no-frills kind of place; the seating appears to be unchanged from its Popeye's/Jack In The Box days) and stuck with what they do best. Though Will County's growth has boosted the number of workers downtown (Joliet is the county seat) businesses continue to struggle there and vacant retail space remains a problem.

(Photo by John Patsch, Joliet Herald-News.)

Happy Paczki Day!

I really wish I had realized before I was already on my morning train that today is Paczki Day, or otherwise I would have taken a few extra minutes to stop by Joliet Bakery and pick up a couple paczkis (pronounced, best as I can tell, as "poonch-kees") for the ride to work. Them's good eatin'.

Strangely enough, though I grew up in the Chicago area (which is heavily Polish - Chicago has the second most Poles of any city, after Warsaw) I didn't first hear of paczkis until my early twenties, while on a business trip to Detroit that happened to include Shrove Tuesday. And even then I didn't eat my first one until just a year or two ago, when Joliet Bakery (a combination Polish bakery/grocery/restaurant/bar, affectionately known locally as Drunken Donuts for its unusual nightcap potential) first opened.

More fun with Google Maps

Below are aerial photographs which show the remnants of three demolished/abandoned structures. See if you can guess what each was.

First, from Joliet:



Second, also from Joliet:



Lastly, from Blue Island, Illinois:



For answers and links, please scroll down. No cheating!

1. Bowling alley: Washington Lanes (demolished).
2. Drive-in movie theater: Hilltop Drive-In (still standing, but closed long ago).
3. Railroad roundhouse: Blue Island roundhouse of the Rock Island Railroad (apparently the turntable is still used to rotate trains, though the structure is gone).

Schmitz and Gretencort

Nice 1912 postcard here, which advertises the Schmitz and Gretencort department store (click on either image for the full-sized version). Interesting to note that the "holiday sale of questionable relevance" concept ("4th of July Home Coming Sale") is by no means a modern-day development. I've seen ephemera from this store before and had assumed it was a Joliet company, but based on the ordering of the locations listed on the back, it appears to have been an Aurora company with a Joliet branch. This building is still standing, but the interior has been fully modernized and this view is now long gone.

Silverfross Drive In

Sharp matchbook here from the old Silverfross Drive In, on Lincoln Highway on the east side of Joliet. The restaurant is obviously long gone, but I'll have to drive past that intersection and since if the building is still there. I don't know about you, but even though it's only ten o'clock in the morning a pork tenderloin, fries and root beer sounds pretty damned good right now. 

Joliet Police Blotter

This is certainly a strong candidate for Joliet Police Blotter Story Of The Year. How discreet of the newspaper to not disclose the woman's name, thus protecting her from well-deserved public ridicule.

No surprise when gas and lighter mix
JOLIET -- A woman's method of checking her fuel level Tuesday night was like pouring gasoline on a fire.

The 27-year-old Joliet woman suffered second-degree burns and destroyed a car after reportedly using a cigarette lighter to help her see how much gas was in the can she'd been filling.

Police reports say it was around 10:30 p.m. when the woman drove to 7-11, 1609 E. Cass St., in a yellow 1970 Chevrolet 400.

The woman "was filling up a gas can, which was sitting on the passenger seat of the car. (She) then used a lighter to use as a light to observe how full the can was," police said.

The can ignited from the lighter's flame and the resulting explosion also set the vehicle's interior ablaze.

Apparently fearful the fire could spread to the fuel pump she'd been using, the victim began to push the burning car.

Firefighters from Station Four reported the Chevrolet was "approximately five feet from the pumps and fully involved" when they arrived.

The woman was treated for "nonlife threatening, but serious" second-degree burns to her right wrist and right thigh by ambulance personnel and taken to Silver Cross Hospital.

Joliet, er, Lockport Police Blotter

My spirits lifted when I saw this headline, hoping for so much more than this story turned out to be.

Armed robber strikes Lockport comic shop

LOCKPORT -- An armed robber made off with $300 from Fantasy Comics, 1128 S. State St.

Police said the holdup man entered the business at 3 p.m. Wednesday. By the time police had arrived, he had fled the scene.

The robber was described as a white male, 18 to 22 years old, 5-foot-9, with a thin build. The man was wearing a black bandana.

Police said the robber showed customers and employees a small, black, semi-automatic handgun, telling them to get on the floor.

If you have any information regarding this incident, contact the Lockport Police Department's Investigations Unit at 815-838-2132.

One would think that a comic book shop robber would at least have enough imagination to wear a mask when committing his crime, or cackle fiendishly as he departed. And apparently Superman was asleep on the job, because not only did the police have to be called in, but they're even seeking help from the public. Superheroing just ain't wait it used to be.

1925 Style

I love this 1925 ad for the L.F. Beach department store in Joliet. Note the striking similarity and impossible proportions of the models from way back then. Apparently the unrealistic body perception that is instilled by popular culture these days didn't start with Barbie dolls.

Joliet Police Blotter

It seems to me that one of the responsibilities of gun ownership is not only knowing exactly how many guns you have in your home, but also checking on them more often than every 26 years.

Gone but not forgotten
JOLIET TOWNSHIP -- Where were you on the night of May 15? How about May 15, 1983?

On May 15, a homeowner on Sugar Creek Drive reported a burglary to Will County Sheriff's police. After completing an inventory, the woman called police again May 20 to tell them several firearms had been stolen.

The victim told police she'd inherited four handguns and two rifles in 1981 and had them appraised two years later.

"At that point the firearms were stored in a closet attached to the master bedroom (and) during the past 26 years she hadn't thought of the firearms," police said.

Reports indicate it is not known if the weapons were stolen during the May 15 burglary, another burglary that occurred in 2003 or "during a number of parties at the residence during the last 26 years."

Carl Erickson, the local boy unexpectedly done good

I regularly follow the illustration blog Today's Inspiration but was particularly struck by this quote that appeared there this week:

"There is no reason, of course, why the suave delineator of chic femininity, whose drawings for twenty years have given poignance to America's smartest fashion magazine, should not have been born in Joliet, Illinois."

The quote is about Carl Erickson, who was born in Joliet in 1891 and went on to a celebrated career as illustrator, under the oh-so-chic singular name "Eric", in the fashion industry. I had never heard of him before but now am quite impressed by his work. The blog has been running a series on Eric this week, which I encourage you to check out:

Carl (Eric) Erickson (1891-1958)
Eric: "the suave delineator of chic femininity"
The Extent of Eric's Influence
Carl Erickson: The "Deceptively Simple Line" of the "Lifestyle Illustrator"
The Art of Carl Erickson: "Easy or Impossible"

From everything I've read about Joliet in the late 19th and early 20th centuries - rough and tumble, blue collar, pervaded by heavy industry - I'd say it's indeed remarkable that the "suave delineator of chic femininity" hailed from here. Yesterday I found this bio on his father, Per Erickson, who, quite true to the city's rough image, was the "keeper" (warden? jailer?) at the Joliet Penitentiary.

Who sez...

...Joliet ain't literary? This photo was taken on the east side of Joliet, at the corner of Little Dorrit St. and Dickens St. (Also nearby are Pickwick Rd. and Pickwick Ct.) And this isn't some chic new neighborhood that's striving for distinction by invoking the literary masters, but instead a rather humble cluster of 1920s frame houses that are adjacent to railroad tracks, a cemetery and a bridge overpass.



So dere.

Peet's Service Station

Another matchbook (my eBay searches are turning up a lot of them lately), this one from Peet's Service Station. My best guess is that the station was located at what is now the intersection of Illinois Route 53 (the former Route 66) and Zarley Boulevard. While the "groceries" and "notions" are still part of modern-day gas station convenience stores, I love the mention of "heated cabins", which indicates the station featured a motor court motel for weary travelers. There's still a gas station on that corner (a Speedway) but from the satellite photo it looks the cabins are no more. I'm sure I'll be driving past this intersection soon to check it out.

Time stands still in Joliet

One of the things I love most about Joliet is its timeless quality. In many ways, time here has stood still - 1970s muscle cars sit parked on driveways, not as showpieces but as everyday vehicles; corner grocery stores and restaurants are marked by neon signs which are every bit as vibrant as they were brand-new, sixty years ago; hulking brick factories still operate though they no longer produce the horseshoes or barbed wire or wallpaper of old; old-school barber and cobbler shops still hang on. I've been called a throwback more than once, and I guess it's my fondness for the past which makes me appreciate my adopted hometown as much as I do.

Another case in point: Joliet has a local pharmacy, J.D. Brown and Company, which has been locally-owned and -operated for over 150 years, and is almost as old as the city itself. Although we frequent the store regularly (primarily Julie, who drops off shipments from her online businesses at the store's post office substation), until yesterday I wasn't aware of the following bit of historical interest about the store.

As it turns out, the store's founder James Douglas Brown was the nephew of Senator Stephen A. Douglas, the renowned 19th Century politician who was best known for squaring off against Abe Lincoln in the Lincoln-Douglas debates. Douglas was a regular visitor to Joliet and to his nephew's store, where he liked to sit on a bench in the store and chew the fat with the locals. Remarkably, the bench not only still exists but even remains in regular use in the store. The Herald-News article linked to above (which I insist you read) also indicates that the bench has lived a rather charmed life, having survived both a fire and a tornado that destroyed the store in recent decades.

I passed this story along to Julie yesterday, and while at the store that afternoon Julie told Maddie about the bench. When I arrived home last night Maddie couldn't wait to tell me that she had sat on the bench I had read about. However, with Julie not being quite as passionate about arcane history as I am, she mistakenly told Maddie not that Stephen Douglas once sat there, but instead Ulysses S. Grant.

Which was an understandable mistake, since one of my ancestors personally knew Grant...but that's arcana for another day.

Joliet Police Blotter

Wow. This is certainly an inauspicious start to the kid's driving career.

Joy ride?
JOLIET TOWNSHIP -- Maybe driver's ed will help.

On Jan. 17, a 15-year-old Crest Hill boy was pulled over by a Will County deputy. According to reports, the underage motorist "seemed to have stopped his vehicle when he suddenly reversed it and struck the passenger side of the deputy's squad car."

Police say the driver then drove away, crashing into the street sign at Fifth and Davison. He reportedly left the vehicle and took off on foot, but the officer was able to track the fresh footprints in the snow and apprehend him.

The juvenile was arrested and booked into the River Valley Juvenile Detention Center on charges of possession of a stolen motor vehicle, attempting to elude police, hit and run, resisting a police officer, driving without a valid license, driving without insurance, no front license plate and disobeying a stop sign.

Otto's

Another interesting bit of Joliet ephemera - a matchbook from Otto's, which once served the unbeatable combination of root beer (undoubtedly homemade) and barbeque. This address is just a few blocks from where we live now but the place is sadly long gone (the building currently houses a Polish bakery/grocery/deli/restaurant/bar) as apparently also are the Lankenaus, for whom I could find no listing in the phone book.

Presumably the "Always Cold" referred to the root beer, and not the barbeque.

(Bolingbrook) Police Blotter

Ah, irony...sweet, delectable, scrumptious irony.

Exit sign sparks fire in Bolingbrook
BOLINGBROOK -- An electrical failure in an exit sign and exterior light caused a fire in an apartment building Wednesday afternoon.

Battalion Chief Trinedad Garza said the fire started around 3:03 p.m. in the apartment building at 501 Preston off of Boughton Road.

Firefighters had to evacuate the west side of the complex, but had residents back in their apartments in about an hour.

Firefighters had to pull down some ceilings and clear out smoke. There were no injuries and no one was displaced, Garza said.

Yes, I had to stray outside of Joliet for this police blotter item, but at least it still appeared in the Herald-News. So it counts.

Overheard: Home Cut Donuts

(Young African-American man, waiting in line and apparently eyeing the teenaged girls who are tending the counter, is asked by an acquaintance how he's doing.)

Man: "Fine lookin' young ladies...a cheap breakfast...I'm doin' good!"

Joliet Citizens Brewing

Another sharp keg label, this one from Joliet Citizens Brewing Company, which operated here from 1904 through 1948. (Its latter incarnation, Bohemian Brewery, brought Joliet's long brewing history to an end when it closed in 1958.) Not exactly sure what Joliet Citizens produced during Prohibition to keep the doors open - I'm sure on an official basis it was "near beer", but Joliet was a pretty wide-open town back then, so my guess is that they never stopped brewing the genuine article while the authorities looked the other way.

UPDATE: The comment below from "Mr. X" prompted me to take a closer look at that label - despite the "Keg Beer" moniker, the label isn't from a keg at all, but instead a 64-oz. bottle. But I didn't mean to imply that this label was from the Prohibition era - instead it's probably from the 40s or 50s. The fact that it doesn't say "near beer" or "tonic" or any of the old euphemisms from the dry days indicates this is the full-strength variety and is most certainly "legit." Now, whatever the brewery happened to ship out through the back door during Prohibition under the cover of darkness, that's another story...

Pioneer Brewing

Lovely bit of ephemera from here in Joliet - a beer keg label from Pioneer Brewing, which operated here briefly in the 1930s and 40s. That street address is for a Chicago distributor, presumably the one the keg was to be returned to. But just above that, in oddly inconspicuous type, it says "Brewery - Joliet, Ill." The brewery operated in the previous location of the Fred Sehring Brewery, which had been a pretty big operation prior to Prohibition. Pioneer closed in 1948. The building is, rather remarkably, still standing, now housing an auto body company.

(Some guy's asking $8.50 for this label on eBay but was kind enough to put up a full-size, high-res image without one of those disfiguring watermark things, so I just downloaded it instead. If I thought I'd ever get around to renovating the basement into the billiards room I've always pined for, I might have bought the original for framing, but that's unlikely so I won't.)

Joliet: No to Meijer

The developer of the long-awaited upscale lifestyle center at the northwest corner of Route 59 and Theodore Street has completely shifted gears. Blaming difficult economic conditions, the developer now wants a Meijer store there instead.

The developer of what once was supposed to be a one-of-a-kind, upscale shopping center now plans to put a big-box Meijer supercenter store at the corner of Illinois 59 and Theodore Street.

The 24-hour, 156,000-square-foot store would go into Tower Marketplace of Joliet.

The shopping center, originally called Bronk's Corners, was announced three years ago with much fanfare. Developer Ardmin Properties said then that it planned to create a signature development that would serve as a gathering place for people who would shop at unique stores and dine at upscale restaurants.

That plan, however, has run up against a downturn in the economy and increased competition from other retail projects planned for the area.

Adding a Meijer store is such a change in course for Tower Marketplace that the store will have to get city council approval before it can be built.

What an incredibly bad idea. There's already a Wal-Mart right across the street, and a Target a quarter of a mile away. The area is already ridiculously congested as it is, and adding another big box retailer will make it even worse. Better to leave the land parcel vacant for a few years until economic conditions improve and a better use for it can be found, than to add another big box that the area really doesn't need.

If you live in Joliet and agree with me on this, I urge you to contact your Councilman immediately and voice your concerns.

The Rialto's Opening Night

The Rialto Square Theatre is the jewel of Joliet, a magnificent Vaudeville-era movie palace which has been fully restored to its original glory. Julie and I were lucky enough to have our wedding reception there, in 1999, and the setting couldn't have been more perfect.

The image above (click on it for full size) is an ad that appeared in the Joliet Herald-News on the day the Rialto opened, May 24, 1926. I can't even begin to imagine what "The Evolution of Joliet" - a stage musical, apparently commissioned specifically for the opening festivities - could possibly have been like. Prison! Air-clogging steel mills! A nascent mafia!

I kid. I truly love living here. And the history is nothing short of fascinating.

Joliet Police Blotter

Although this news item is unattributed, it's clearly the work of Joe Hosey, the longtime Herald-News police beat reporter whose work I've admiringly noted here in the past. This story simply oozes with fictional potential.

A watermelon becomes a weapon
JOLIET -- A watermelon was fatally injured after attacking a door frame.

At 12:45 a.m. July 14, a resident of the 300 block of Westridge Road heard a loud bang before the alarm system went off.

According to reports, a watermelon had been thrown at the door of the residence, damaging the frame.

The resident told police he believes the vandalism may be related to an incident last month involving eggs.

Boy's gotta have it.

Historic Joliet in postcards. Small gallery here - surprisingly, four of the five buildings depicted there are still standing. Spend any time on eBay with the search term "Joliet" and you will have already seen most of these images, but it will be nice to have them all in one place. Hint hint.

IDOT or IDIOT?

Once again, it seems that the Illinois Department of Transportation, or IDOT, needs one more "I" in its name. Because this is utterly ridiculous.

The Illinois Department of Transportation is requiring that Bronk's Corners not only widen the portion of Illinois 59 that runs past the shopping center, but also widen lanes on the other side of the intersection up to the entrance to the Wal-Mart development to the south.

"IDOT did not require Wal-Mart to make a lot of the improvements on Route 59 that we're now required to carry the burden on," said Gary Davidson, an attorney representing the development group, which is headed by Ardmin Properties out of Woodridge.

Davidson added that it would be "incredibly difficult" for the developer to move forward with Bronk's Corners while taking on all the costs of road widening and infrastructure improvements.

A quick recap: Illinois Route 59 is an older highway that runs through the far west side of Joliet, an area which has had explosive growth in residential development during the past ten years. Route 59 is rapidly becoming a major commercial strip, with all the usual big box retailers - Wal-Mart, Home Depot, Staples, etc. For the most part the road is still only two lanes, as the state has dragged its heels on widening it. As a result, traffic congestion in the area is quite bad (a factor which, incidentally, contributed to our moving away from the area three years ago).

This new retail development, Bronk's Corners, is to be built at the northwest corner of Route 59 and Theodore Street. Wal-Mart built a new store a few years ago on the southwest corner but, despite the huge upsurge in traffic that Wal-Mart drew, the company wasn't required to pay for critically needed infrastructure improvements for the intersection. Now, the Bronk's Corners "lifestyle center" development, which was supposed to open this fall but hasn't even broken ground, is being required by IDOT to pay for the widening of the intersection entirely on its own.

Wal-Mart, which undoubtedly draws more traffic than the lifestyle center will, stands to benefit from the improved traffic flow without having to pay a dime for it. Meanwhile, the local developer of Bronk's Corners is expected to foot the bill, effectively subsidizing both Wal-Mart and the retail center on the opposite corner. (The fourth corner is currently vacant, but is undoubtedly being eyed for some sort of new development, as raw land on this attractive strech of Route 59 is now all but non-existent.) Never mind that the road should have been widened five years ago, before Bronk's Corners was even on the drawing board. Now, when the state finally gets around to widening the road, they're giving Wal-Mart a free pass and instead leaning on the Bronk's Corners developers as a condition for getting the project completed. And it sounds like the City of Joliet is just meekly going along with IDOT's questionable decision.

I know that state and local governments bend over backwards for new Wal-Marts, regardless of whether those stores are good for the community or not, but this is going much too far. Why isn't Wal-Mart being required to pay its fair share of these infrastructure costs? Am I completely missing something here? Does this seem at all fair?

D'Arcy Mansion Saved!

Need more parking for your banquet hall, but there's a 100+ year old, 7,700 square foot, 240-ton mansion sitting on the lot you own next door? No problem - just move that hulking structure to another lot across the street. Kudos to owner Jeff Bussean (whose company catered our wedding reception, by the way) for dropping some very serious cash to save this classic house, when demolition would have been so much cheaper.

Joliet, "one of the greatest centers of the Illinois motordom"

Like many small industrial cities of the early 20th Century, Joliet was home to a handful of automobile manufacturers, very small outfits which were destined to last only a few years. But while those golden years lasted, Joliet and other cities reveled in unabashed civic pride over their place within the fledgling industry. Below is an article from the March 13, 1909 edition of the Joliet Evening Herald (via the Joliet Public Library's wonderful "Joliet Remembers" site). I'm amused by the manner in which the article quickly shifts from boosting the car dealerships and one local manufacturer to a shameless cataloging of the relative horsepowers of the city's elite.

Golden Era Dawns For Auto Trade

Prospects for Present Season Brighter Than Ever - General Opinion Points to Magnificent Business

The golden wreath has twined itself around the wheels of Joliet auto industry and the season of 1909 is certain to mark an epoch which will rank the city as one of the greatest centers of the Illinois motordom. Throughout the union the auto trade is advancing and Joliet is not behind in the race for before the snow flies the experts claim that one hundred machines of all makes and sizes will be added to the city's roster.

Two new garages have opened, in anticipation of the summer season, making four now in operation. They are the Steinhart & Jensen, 100 Cass street; L.J. Kinnel, 104 Jefferson st., Campbell & Keeling, 106-108 Joliet street and Peterson garage, 206 Clinton street. The Cadillac is handled by Steinhart & Jensen, the Mitchell by Kinnel, The "E.M.F. 30" by Campbell & Keeling, the Ford by Arthur Howard and the Buick by Peterson. The Oakland, the car introduced a few days ago, will probably by handled by R.C. Bruce, with headquarters at 1600 Collins st.

Perhaps the greatest step toward making Joliet an automobile center was made by Dr. J.C. Flowers in the establishment of the Economy Motor Buggy company's works. A three story brick structure was erected at Cass and Maple street and the manufacture of vehicle automobiles was started on January 13. The cost of the plant and equipment was about $50,000. The output of machines has been continuous since the first wheel was turned and the demand has at all times exceeded the capabilities of the plant.

Many large vehicles

Colonel John Lambert is the owner of the largest and best equipped car in Joliet, a Mercedes of 65 H.P.; Geo. Woodruff is the owner of a Stearn machine, 55 H.P., and W.F. Pilcher drives a Chalmers of Detroit of 40 H.P. P.D.R. Mathias, superintendent of the Steel mills is the possessor of a 30 H.P. White Steamer, while many other owners have expensive cars.

National automobile interests are represented by C.F. Jensen, a member of the firm of Steinhart & Jensen. Mr. Jensen was chosen president of the National Retail Automobile Dealer's association at an election last year and has since been called upon to act as mediator in some of the large and most important conflicts that have assailed auto interests.

Photo of the Week

Attic Window
Joliet
October 2004

It appears I'm insufficiently on the ball to manage posting a three-year old photograph even once per week. (The last "Photo of the Week" appeared two weeks ago.) Still, I hope you enjoy the late-afternoon image above, of the east side of our house. I like how the windows catch the deeper blue of the eastern sky, while overhead the sky is a paler blue from the fading sun. I've long toyed with renovating that attic into some sort of creative space. With windows like these on each end, it has plenty of good light, but also no heating or cooling. Which probably means it would be more of a financial investment than my frugal self is willing to undertake.

Photo of the Week

Cash Wholesale Produce Co.
150 St. Louis St., Joliet
March 2007

Since I'm getting back into the photographic spirit, I've decided to launch a new feature, "Photo of the Week." Every weekend I'll post another photo from my collection. Enjoy.

"Robbery at Rich & Creamy"

Another poetic offering from Fyodor Dishboy, in response to this Joliet Herald-News police blotter item:

JOLIET -- The Rich & Creamy ice cream stand at 928 N. Broadway was robbed shortly after 7 p.m. Wednesday. The robber implied he had a gun and demanded money from employees before fleeing the scene, possibly on a bike, said Lt. Tab Jensen. The suspect was described as a black male in his teens or early 20s. He was wearing a black winter coat and a black hooded sweat shirt, according to witnesses.

Mr. Dishboy lyricizes...

Robbery at Rich & Creamy
"Rich & Creamy" the appellation
Seemed like quite an invitation!
What a letdown - lots of cream
But nothing like a burglar's dream.

Introducing Fyodor Dishboy

My writing is in a bit of a lull right now, so I'm turning my attention to talent scouting. That said, I would like to introduce the world to the next great poetic sensation, Fyodor Dishboy, a Russian emigre who now lives in the wilds of western Massachusetts. Inspired by nothing more than the following police blotter item in the Joliet Herald-News...

Shakita L. Pillow , 19, of 2221 Ashby Lane in Plainfield was arrested by Joliet police and booked into the county jail Thursday on charges of forgery, deceptive practices and theft.

...Mr. Dishboy promptly penned the following verse:

What happened to Shakita L. Pillow?
The charges against her did billow.
Arrested for theft,
Her parents bereft
It could be that 3-5 she'll owe.

I'm sure you'll agree we have a major talent in our midst. I have been retained as Mr. Dishboy's exclusive literary representative for negotiation of book contracts, international tours, Oprah's Book Club selections, etc. However, those seeking personal appearances or interviews should be advised that Mr. Dishboy is so reclusive that he makes Pynchon look like a media whore; as such, he will require substantial financial incentives -- well into six figures -- to emerge, blinking, from the shadows. But I can assure you that he is a charming and compelling conversationalist, one who will be well worth your honorarium.

A Most Pleasant Surprise

Every night on my way home from work, I drive down Cass Street in Joliet and pass a very nondescript building at the corner of Cass and Chicago. It's a small, two-story commercial building covered in white vinyl siding. (And not even decent vinyl siding, but the cheapest grade available.) The building has clearly seen better days, and can't seem to keep any long-term tenants. The last tenant I'm aware of was the Will County Democrats, who leased the first floor for a few months before last fall's elections. (Will County is pretty conservative -- about 30% of the population, quite incredulously, preferred the wingnut Alan Keyes over Barack Obama in the last U.S. Senate election -- so the Democratic party here obviously operates on the leanest of shoestrings, as evidenced by their sorry digs in this old building.)

Anyway, I never gave this building much thought until last Friday, when I drove past and was pleasantly surprised to see the building undergoing a facelift. The ugly vinyl siding has been stripped away, revealing a once-lovely, red-brick Victorian building with tall arched windows on the second floor (click image for full-sized photo):

Apparently the building was once a jewelry store, as evidenced by the "Hamilton Watches" sign at the corner and the two insistent claims (one facing each street) that "Your Credit Is Good Here":

Two-by-fours were nailed directly (and rather crudely) into the brick surface to affix the vinyl siding. I'm assuming the nail holes in the bricks can be repaired, but I'm not quite as optimistic about the arches above the second floor windows. A few of the arches were removed completely, and the others either have keystones which are damaged (first photo below) or removed completely (second photo below) to accomodate the two-by-fours.

I'm hoping the missing arches and keystones are stowed away in the cellar. My initial research on this building (whose official address is 5 W. Cass St.) is scanty -- so far I've only learned that it was built between 1886 and 1891, per an old HABS/HAER survey. I'll keep digging to see what I can find, and will post more photos later on as the renovations proceed.

It's nice to see classic old buildings like this one getting a new lease on life. This is the second recent instance of a downtown Joliet building being shorn of its hideous 1960s facade to reveal hints of its past glories beneath. Let's hope this is the start of a trend. There are several more buildings around downtown that deserve similar treatment.

Public Art in Joliet

Today's Chicago Tribune Magazine ran a short piece on the "identity columns" which grace the landscape of Joliet, my adopted hometown.

Urban mosaic
Authorship: Jeff Lyon
Published February 25, 2007

FOLKS IN JOLIET talk about "pillars of the community," they may be speaking literally. That's because in recent years the fast-growing city of 145,000 southwest of Chicago has commissioned almost 40 "identity columns"-original sculptures mounted on pedestals, many of mosaic tile.

It's a joint effort of Joliet and a local group, Friends of Community Public Art. FCPA's president, sculptor Kathleen Farrell, conceived the project. "To me," she says, "the idea that a specific type of art object could appear repeatedly throughout the city and become recognizable as a Joliet icon was very exciting."

The plan called for local artists to produce the sculptures, and columns have gone up honoring such natives as pro basketball's George Mikan and subjects like city firefighters and Route 66. Now the FCPA has published a book of poetry inspired by the works. This is from local poet Ted Thompson's tribute to Route 66:

"The last of a century of pioneers / Traveled that road in beat-up Chevies / Getting their kicks dreaming of new beginnings / Until the west filled up / Into megalopolis / And the dream faded / Into the smog and gridlock / Of an outsourced reality.

"But while the dream motored on / America was young / And believed it could do anything- / And that anything it did was right- / Now we enshrine that road- / Writing elegies to our lost innocence / Erecting this tombstone for the dream.

FCPA does a really nice job with public art around town. Being an old railroad town, Joliet has more than it fair share of viaducts, whose drab concrete walls could otherwise be rather unsightly eyesores. But FCPA's murals (gallery here) on the viaduct walls (and elsewhere) are lively and colorful tributes to the people, places and events of Joliet's history. The identity columns (gallery here) are a more recent development which pay similar tribute at intersections further away from downtown. Definitely worth checking out if you're ever in the area.

Joliet Police Blotter

The only worse choices this guy could have made would have been: a) on a squad car; or b) on a police officer.

Had to go bad
JOLIET -- Saying the door was locked and he had to urinate, Antonio H. Tovar chose the northwest side of the Joliet Police Station, 150 W. Washington St., to relieve himself Saturday morning.

Tovar, 17, of 116 Logan St., Joliet was charged with disorderly conduct.

Joliet Police Blotter

Now, there's a smart burglar. Ransack a bunch of cars, and then leave clear footprints in the snow for the cops to track you down. Though the degree of evidence incrimination here isn't too strong, unless that "loose change" was a bunch of rare Indian-head pennies and Buffalo nickels that the owners had extensively documented. I'm guessing the perp will walk on this one.

It wasn't hot, but cops were on the trail
JOLIET -- Catching an alleged burglar would have been a lot more difficult any other time of year.

Police were called Monday afternoon to the 1000 block of West Marion Street after residents reportedly observed a man opening car doors and taking items from vehicles parked along the street.

Police arrived to find Joliet resident Joshua D. Prater. They followed the footprints he'd left in the snow to a nearby alley where they allegedly found an ashtray from one of the burglarized vehicles.

Police say loose change found in Prater's pockets was identified as that which had been kept in the ashtray.

Prater, 22, of 261 S. Center St. was arrested and booked into the county jail on charges of burglary.

Thrift Store Booking

Joliet may not have many book store options (just a B&N and a small used book store) but one thing it does have is a plethora of thrift stores -- all of which, I'm pleased to report, have piles and piles of cheap used books. There's a Goodwill, of course, but also some very good local charity shops (MorningStar Treasure Chest and St. Vincent DePaul). Surprisingly, there's no Salvation Army.

Anyway, my chronic book-buying compulsion means I can never resist the book section of the thrift stores for more than, oh, about two minutes after walking in. Today at Treasure Chest (our favorite on all fronts -- merchandise, prices, friendly staff) I picked up Andrew Patner's I.F. Stone: A Portrait: Conversations with a Noncomformist, which looks fascinating. (And only set me back fifty cents.) I discovered Stone only recently, after reading an article ("Celebrating a Media Maverick") in Utne, which now has me intrigued about the man's life and writings.

During our thrifting jaunt today I also saw, but passed on, W.G. Sebald's Rings of Saturn, Irene Zabytko's The Sky Unwashed, and Andre Dubus III's House of Sand and Fog, to name just three. I like the idea of buying books from thrift stores, since the books are cheap and buying there supports a good social cause. I encourage you to check out your own local thrift store soon. You may be surprised what great reading you'll find.

Joliet Police Blotter: 2006 Story of the Year

It's been a truly fine year for criminal stupidity in Joliet, as impeccably reported by the inimitable Joe Hosey of the Joliet Herald-News.

The runners-up:
Gunning for a child safety award?
Comment: Recklessly endangering children's lives makes this story much more appalling than funny. Since I value stupidity as much as humor in my police blotter reading, this story doesn't make the cut.

On wrong track
Comment: Drunkenly driving onto the train tracks is noteworthy enough, but banging on the neighbor's door and urging them to stop the train -- as if it was in their power to do so -- is quite the topper. Hosey's trademark dry wit ("residents were unable to comply with Flake's request", plus the Robert Frost allusion in the opening paragraph) also makes this item a particularly strong contender. But I can't get past the simple fact that the culprit was drunk, and let's face it -- we've all done stupid things while drunk, albeit probably not to this extreme.

Blazing his own trail
Comment: Another fine example of wayward inebriated driving. I love the mental image of a guy looking out his rear window at what is normally an idyllic expanse of wilderness, only to see headlights moving around. In making the comment "Deputies approached the driver and noticed several signs indicating he was intoxicated", Hosey also nobly refrained from adding the obvious, something along the lines of "...not the least of which was driving a station wagon 250 yards from the nearest road." But this story is missing that special something, like that the culprit wanted to go off-roading and could have sworn he was driving his Chevy Blazer at the time.

The winner:
One easy arrest
Comment: As my earlier post indicates, not much further commentary is needed. But unnecessarily alerting the police to your presence, when you have a big bag of pot in plain sight in your car, along with two loaded handguns, crack cocaine and other drug-related paraphenalia, earns this errant youth the grand prize.

These stories are just from the Joliet area. But I've really got to give a big honorable mention to this cringeworthy gem, from Chicago:

Man severs own penis, throws it at officers
Comment: None, absolutely none. In fact, I don't even want to think about this story any further.

Save Book Market!

Walgreens, whose corporate policy apparently prohibits being able to drive two miles anywhere in the Chicago area without passing one of their stores, is eyeing yet another new location in my hometown of Joliet. Their plan would eliminate one of the oldest shopping centers in town, and displace numerous locally-owned businesses, including the only independent bookstore in the area, Book Market. This comes despite the fact that there's already a Walgreens just two blocks away.

The bookstore is, of course, "looking for space elsewhere", but such a disruption is the last thing any small business needs, especially an independent bookseller. Best of luck to Janet Staley, the store's owner.

This Drive Brought to You by Booze and Robert Frost

Another police blotter gem from the inimitable pen of Joe Hosey of the Joliet Herald-News:

Blazing his own trail

MONEE — No roads diverged in a yellow wood, so a man decided to make one less traveled by on Sept. 10.

Sheriff's deputies were called around 3:30 a.m. to the 3600 block of Pinewood Drive after a resident complained there was a car driving in the rear of his residence. A birdfeeder had been run over.

Deputies noticed headlights "about 250 feet behind the house in a wooded area where there are no roads or access."

But a driver had made access by running over several trees before his 1990 Chevy Celebrity station wagon became stuck in the mud. Deputies approached the driver and noticed several signs indicating he was intoxicated.

The driver, Jonathon W. Crouse, 23, of 26562 S. Windfield in Monee was arrested on charges of driving under the influence of alcohol, operating an uninsured motor vehicle and other traffic violations.

He was booked into the county jail. According to reports, the station wagon was not able to be towed immediately because of its location.

Let this be a lesson to all of us: A Chevy Celebrity station wagon may not be the best vehicle for off-roading.

Story to Film

Way cool: independent filmmaker Richard Skrip has created an 11-minute short film, "Blue Jeans and Black Leather", which is based on the short story of the same name by Steve McDermott (who published my first short story, at Storyglossia). Quietly riveting stuff--and the original story is even better.

Incidentally, I was pleasantly surprised to see that the film's opening scene was shot in my hometown of Joliet, just outside of the old Joliet Penitentiary. I ride past the old prison twice a day on the train to and from work. As far as prisons go, it's a beauty.

File Under: Least Competent Criminals

Behold this police blotter gem from the Joliet Herald-News. Absolutely, positively no comment is necessary.

One easy arrest

CREST HILL — Sometimes cops pursue criminals, other times they just present themselves for arrest. A deputy speaking with patrons in the parking lot of a tavern on Sept. 10 saw another man sitting in a car look in his direction. The man got out of the car, walked over to the deputy and gave him his drivers license.

The deputy asked why the man had given him his license and the man told him he thought the deputy had wanted to see it. The man also told the deputy he had no connection to the patrons the deputy had been speaking with.

The deputy took the license and saw a satchel on the front seat of the man's car that appeared to have a "large bag of cannabis" sticking out of it.

After placing the man in custody, the officer removed the satchel from the car and found two loaded handguns under it. The satchel also contained several rocks of cocaine, a mushroom-like substance, pills, pieces of paper wrapped in foil and a digital scale.

Handgun Owner of the Year

In honor of Mike Royko's old yearly award, I pass along this story from my hometown of Joliet. Yes, ma'am, you have a Constitutional right to bear arms. You also have a moral responsibility to keep said arms secured under lock and key in your home--not hidden under a lawnmower in an outside stairwell, where children exponentially more numerous than your own could find it.

Gunning for a child safety award?

JOLIET — A concerned woman wanted to keep her apartment safe for visiting children. So she hid her 9 mm Glock under a lawnmower in an outside stairwell for the day.

Unfortunately between 7 p.m. Aug. 7 and 3 p.m. Aug. 8, someone removed the case containing the gun and two magazines from its hiding place in the 100 block of Baker Avenue.

The woman went to retrieve her gun and found it missing. She called police and explained she'd hidden the weapon under the lawnmower because "she had numerous small children inside her apartment."

Police reports did not indicate if the lawn had been mowed recently.

Genius, sheer genius. People like her are a strong argument in favor of repealing the 2nd Amendment.

Strange Doings at 3:30 A.M.

It's been a while since I republished one of Joe Hosey's hilarious police blotter stories for the Joliet Herald-News, but this one is definitely worth passing along. Yes, waking the neighbors and imploring them to stop the train--that oughta work. Plenty of typically fine Hosey touches here, including the Robert Frost reference and "residents were unable to comply with Flake's request."

On wrong track

JOLIET — A young man's car paid the price when he decided to take the railroad less traveled early Saturday.

According to police, Edward Flake, 21, of Smithon, Ill., drove his car onto the railroad track service road at McDonough Street and U.S. 6 around 3:30 a.m.

Flake reportedly drove north approximately a half mile along the gravel path that runs alongside the rails to allow access to maintenance crews. The drive ended upon reaching the Des Plaines River, since the railroad bridge was in the raised position. Police said Flake then attempted to turn around and got the car stuck on the rails before an oncoming train attracted his attention.

Flake left the car unoccupied and ran to a nearby house where he woke up residents telling them he heard the train coming, and they needed to go out and have it stopped. While residents were unable to comply with Flake's request, the train's engineer saw the vehicle on the tracks and attempted to stop the train but was unable to do so before pushing the car approximately 40 feet. There were no injuries in the collision.

Flake was arrested and charged with driving under the influence of alcohol.

Though, I must admit, that final line was pretty much unnecessary.

Sunday Night Literary Fights

So I'm sitting in the bar on Sunday night, enjoying a sweating bottle of Pabst in the middle of a holiday weekend, just minding my own business. Suddenly a ragged voice cuts through the din, its query clearly directed at me.
    "Who's the greatest American writer of the twentieth century?" the voice demanded.
    "Nelson Algren," I replied, almost automatically.
    "Algren? Bah! He couldn't carry Hemingway's jockstrap."
    That's just the way Hemingway's followers are in this town, always picking fights in bars, as if they're upholding Papa's honor or something. Especially at Garnsey III. The Fitzgerald and Steinbeck fans seem to favor the downtown Joliet bars, where the discussions observe a considerable degree of decorum. But out here in the neighborhood bars matters aren't nearly as polite. I was just glad I wasn't at the Moran AC, where all-out brawls would regularly break out over the subject of Raymond Chandler.
    Fortunately I was able to immediately dismiss the mental image of Hemingway in a jockstrap, and focused on the matter immediately at hand, namely the menacing drunk who dared impugn Algren's reputation.
    "Sure, Hemingway wrote a few good stories," I said calmly, "but Algren wrote an entire book of great ones--ever read The Neon Wilderness? Great stuff, even an illiterate like you might enjoy them."
    He stepped out of the shadows, clenching a beer bottle by its neck in his fat fist. He was a burly man, bearded, salt-and-pepper hair. Looked a bit like Hemingway himself, probably intentionally so. He was obviously a man of action, not prone to deep reflection, and it was clear he didn't want to settle the argument with words. He smashed the base of the bottle against a bar stool, shattering the glass into a weapon whose jagged teeth gleamed ominously in the neon light.
    "Son Also Rises. Old Man and the Sea," he raged.
    "Decent, but I'll take The Man With the Golden Arm over both of them. Probably Never Come Morning, too. By the way, don't you think it's kind of gutless for a Hemingway fan to use something as crude as a broken beer bottle?"
    He stopped momentarily in his tracks, peering quizically at me.
    "I doubt if your hero ever used anything but his bare fists. A broken bottle seems kind of prissy."
    Enraged, he flew at me, slashing the bottle at my head. I ducked and stepped clear.
    "Besides, before you're so quick to cut down Algren, do you know how much Hemingway admired his writing? 'Boy you are good,' Hemingway said about Algren once, and called him the second-greatest living writer."
    The drunk lunged again, but he was at least a half-dozen drinks ahead of me, and his coordination wasn't at all sharp. I easily dodged him again.
    "Sure, Hemingway considered himself to be the greatest living writer, but you can't just ignore the fact that he thought of Algren so highly," I added.
    I baited him like this for a while, exchanging rational arguments for his poorly-aimed swipes at my throat. Looking back, I could have easily escaped this encounter with my dignity and physical well-being intact, but unfortunately I got a bit carried away in eloquence and, distracted by trying to quote a convincing passage from Chicago: City on the Make, I must have stood still just long enought for him to get a bead on me.
    He lunged again, slicing open my chin with the bottle. At that moment I was jarred back to my senses, and knowing that even Algren enjoyed a bare-knuckled brawl every now and then and would undoubtedly have condoned a physical response from me, I coiled up and went after him.
    Long and short of it is, the melee went on for quite some time, the police were called in but I finally talked my way out of the jam, emerging with Algren's honor remaining intact, at the cost of only seven stitches and a tetanus shot for myself. Which sounds bad until you consider that the other guy is still in the hospital.
    By the way, you might have heard the rumors that my injury didn't happen in a bar, but in a coffeehouse, and it didn't result from a literary brawl, but from fainting, falling and cutting myself open on a display shelf. Vicious lies, all of them, probably started by the other guy himself, that coward, mumbling through his head bandages. Ask me sometime, and I'll show you the police report to prove it to you.

Joliet History - Dairy Queen

The world's very first Dairy Queen opened in my adopted hometown of Joliet, Illinois, on June 22, 1940. The newspaper ad above appeared in the Joliet Herald-News two weeks after the store first opened. The building at 501 N. Chicago St. still stands, though the DQ has long since departed from downtown.

Mmmmm...large cuplet...

"So Much On My Mind"

With This is Grand apparently on hiatus, I've decided to publish a piece here that I submitted to them back in August. True story...and not nearly as surly as last time.

So Much On My Mind

I parked my car on a Joliet side street, as I do every morning to avoid the one dollar fee the city charges for its commuter lots. I sat in the car for a few minutes, listening to the end of a Mekons song, during which time a guy got out of the car immediately ahead of me and started walking toward the station. I hadn’t seen him before, a fact I took little notice of since I’m not in the habit of getting to know my fellow Metra riders.

After getting out of my car, I couldn’t help noticing the sound of an engine running. That occurrence itself isn’t unusual, as people often sit in their cars when they have a few minutes to spare, listening to the radio and basking in the a/c, especially on hot mornings like this one. But I quickly realized that it was the car right in front of me that was still running, and the guy that I had seen get out was now far down the street. I thought of calling after him, but shouting on the marginal streets of downtown Joliet usually provokes only fear and a flight impulse. I took note of the car--a beat-up, dark blue Chevy Corsica--and hurried after him.

Stepping onto the platform, I saw him getting onto my train, and I hoped he would find a seat quickly so I could tell him about the car. But he continued walking the length of the train. I finally found him several cars back, sitting in the upper level. I approached him, standing on the aisle on the lower level, and said, “Hey, do you drive a blue Chevy Corsica?”

He acted surprised, coming rapidly up from deep in thought, and said yes.

“You left your engine running,” I said. “And I assume the keys are still in it, too.”

He immediately jumped up, rushing down the aisle toward the exit. He clambered down the stairs, and in the otherwise empty car I heard him wearily say, “I’ve got so much on my mind.”

He and I entered the vestibule at the same time, but the doors had already closed and the train began pulling away from the station. He exhaled in exasperation, and I paused to say, “You’ll have to get off at New Lenox and take the next one back.” He grunted in agreement as I passed into the next compartment, working my way to the front of the train to find myself a seat.

I had done my good deed for the day, acting as a Good Citizen, but there was nothing more I could do for him. I left him alone with his problem and the "so much" he had on his mind.

Copyright © 2006 Peter Anderson

New Directions in Lewdness

You've really got to hand it to Joliet. Our pervs are true innovators. Sure, any obscene phone caller can make lewd comments or breathe heavily, but here in Joliet, we like to think outside of the box.

Prank calls reported

JOLIET — An East Side woman told police a prank caller has repeatedly called her, and while he does not speak, he does play suggestive music.

The 28-year-old woman told police the prankster has called her since the first day of October.

"Whenever she comes home from work, there are numerous calls on her cell," according to a police report. "When she can answer it, no one answers, but she hears 'porno music' playing."

Her mother and sister also have answered the woman's telephone and heard the music as well.

Joliet Police Blotter

Bachelor party. With strippers. At the blood plasma clinic. Damn, we sure know how to have a good time in Joliet.

Bachelor party at plasma center goes awry
Joliet Herald-News

JOLIET — Two Joliet men were robbed during a bachelor party Saturday afternoon at Joliet Blood Plasma, 128 Collins St., when a "security" agent searched the victims and took their money because a stripper was missing some cash, police said.

Police had not determined whether Joliet Blood Plasma officials were aware that a bachelor party was occurring on its premises around 2 p.m., said Lt. Gordon Corp of the Joliet police.

During the party, two people acting as security reportedly decided to conduct their own investigation when the stripper said she was missing money. Corp said security locked the doors and searched everybody who was present.

Two men, ages 24 and 26, told police that security took about $200 from each of them, Corp said.

The 26-year-old told police that one of the security guards hit him in the head with a mop bucket, Corp said.

"We don't believe they were from a security company. I'm assuming they were playing security for whoever was running the party," Corp said.