Joliet Police Blotter

Although this news item is unattributed, it's clearly the work of Joe Hosey, the longtime Herald-News police beat reporter whose work I've admiringly noted here in the past. This story simply oozes with fictional potential.

A watermelon becomes a weapon
JOLIET -- A watermelon was fatally injured after attacking a door frame.

At 12:45 a.m. July 14, a resident of the 300 block of Westridge Road heard a loud bang before the alarm system went off.

According to reports, a watermelon had been thrown at the door of the residence, damaging the frame.

The resident told police he believes the vandalism may be related to an incident last month involving eggs.