Just Shoot Me

Shalom Auslander endures - no, enjoys his first photo shoot.

The makeup man wipes his fingertip under my eye one last time.

"Such bags under your eyes!" he sighs.

"Those bags are why I'm here," I answer. He laughs. The woman who brought me the wine laughs. The woman who did my hair laughs. I am too much.

"You are too much," she says, fluffing my hair.

I finish my wine. Someone brings me more.

Ah, the punishing wages of success.